I was working on Friday with my good friend Muhammad at Borders. He was helping a customer and I was cleaning up magazines. On the cover of last week’s US magazine are the two buffoons you see above. With some sort of headline like, “Eva and Tony tie the knot! We Were There!” Being a trashy rumors rag, it had about a dozen more exclamation points. I turned to Moe and asked him, “Who the hell are these people and why should I care?” He looked at me and said, ” You really don’t know who they are?”
“No, should I?”
“That’s Tony Parker the NBA player of the year.”
“Oh, and her?”
“She’s on that Desperate House Wives show.”
“Hmm, well I guess that’s all right, I mean at least he plays sports, that takes some skill. But who cares? He puts a inflated pig bladder through a tiny hoop, while being oogled by thousands of ‘heterosexual’ men. But her? She plays a whore on some trashy television show? I know half a dozen girls who are whores in real life. They do a better job too. Why aren’t they on the cover of every trashy magazine that the publishing industry excretes into the public?”
This last comment was overheard by one of our customers, who stood there wide-eyed, choking on their laughter. I continued, “Americans are retarded, we don’t have royalty in our country so every dumpy, lazy, fat-assed, house wife (and their daughters, and I don’t know every other ridiculous meat-brick) in the United States wastes half their time obsessing over neanderthals and hookers?! Go America! Why is anyone fighting to preserve ‘our way of life’? What way of life? American culture is the most common denominator. That isn’t an accomplishment, you get there by default. I can’t wait until it’s all wiped away!”
The customer laughed, Muhammad laughed, then I decided to laugh too… While inside a little more of me died. At least the hordes will have something to read in two years when these fools divorce…
You would cry too if it happened to you
I finished reading Alan Weisman’s The World Without Us. It was a great read, one I’d recommend for everyone. Imagine what the world would look like tomorrow if we all disappeared today? What would last, and what would fade quickly away? Fascinating enough, most of the things we think of as permanent and lasting, will be gone. If all of us humans were gone after 1000 years all that would be left are the chemicals we have synthesized (plastics, DDT, etc), radiation (some of the isotopes we use in nuclear reactors have a half-life of over 4 billion years?!), and electric signals. While nothing of us would be left, save for the endless re-runs of I Love Lucy which are beaming out to all parts of the universe, it is nice to know that Nature in all her glory and variety will bounce back and with us no longer here wild-life will flourish…
Oh, and check out the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement (VHEMT). I’ll keep the link on the reading list up for a few days more before I take it down.
No we didn’t light it but we tried to fight it
Pictures of me should be appearing on Facebook right about now, pictures of me hiking and hanging out with dogs. Yesterday, Diana and I drove North East of Sacramento to Sugar Pine Reservoir. We spent the day hiking around the it, we think it was 3 or 4 miles, there were other people there but they were mostly stationary, so there were times when we were walking on the trail that it seemed we were the only ones there, times when we could even look over the water and not see any boats and believe we had the place to ourselves… There were also times when old ladies were pissing on the trail as we came around a bend… Yeah, it was kinda a mixed bag when it came to that… Who uses the trial as their latrine? This was a fucking National Forest!? They had bathrooms like in a dozen different spots! Okay, maybe she was old, and maybe she was lazy, and maybe she was retarded, but everyone and I mean everyone knows, you don’t drop trowel on the trail! You go off it, and a behind a bush or tree or something…
Hiking was fun and the reservoir was pretty enough. After we had finished our day hike, on our way back to Davis we passed through Auburn which is where one of Diana’s aunts lives. Her aunt breeds and show Australian shepherds. They mauled me and I loved it. We spent a couple hours there just chatting with her ant and petting/playing with puppies. I want a dog.
We then drove back to Davis took showers and then rented some movies and watched them. It was a great day.
In other news: I’ve decided I need to schedule my time more efficiently. I need to set aside one or two hours everyday just for writing. When these hours come up I need to stop everything else I’m doing, sit down and write. I also need to police myself while I’m writing, the internet is just a click away… Also I’ve realized that I have a lot of books and video games that I have not read/played. So no more purchases until I finish what I have. I’m going to try and figure out how to put some lists into that sidebar over there —> and fill them with what I’m reading and one for what I’m playing. It’s all so exciting. That’s it for now, the next post will either be the continuation of a little bit about me, or a funny story about tabloids.
to get the taste of Harry Potter out of my mouth (Wow, that sounds dirty, disgusting, and probably the plot line of numerous Harry Potter fanfics… CREEPY).