Festivus 2017 – A Time for Feats of Strength!

Festivus 2017

“Well, the years start coming and they don’t stop coming…” This year sort of flew by and when I pause to reflect on what all I did this year I don’t know if I could name anything. It all seemed to happen so fast.

And so I find myself here at the end of 2017, which means Festivus is upon us! For those of you who don’t know Festivus is the gift exchange on the forum, I have been a member of for the last 15+ years or so it seems. Anyway, it started out as a place for nerds to talk about video games and now it is a place for old people to complain about their kids and taxes.

I sent my gift out earlier this year and then waited in trepidation for my own to arrive. And it did!

All the way from the frigid white north that is Canada! I poured myself a strong drink and dug in:

Now I’m ready:

Well, that doesn’t seem too bad!

This book does look like it is right up my alley! Sadly, it joins about 123 other books that are also, at this very moment, clogging up my alley. Maybe, by the end of 2018 I can start it!

Despite his misgivings, I had never had any of these sugary confections. And, except for Big Turk and Granny’s they were all pretty good! If anyone ever tells you Turkish Delight is good they are a liar. Edmund deserved his enslavement to the White Witch for liking this stuff…

Next up is:

You can tell Jbear really went out of his way to for these gifts. Visiting two gas stations in order to find the most unhealthy food he could find and then send it along to me. That’s friendship! The ketchup chips were inedible. The Hickory Sticks were way too salty. The All Dressed Ruffles are pretty good though, apparently its every basic chip topping all at once.

Uh, this is unexpected.

I mean Jbear I like you. I think you’re a great guy and everything. But, I don’t really know you and this seems like a really big step right now…

Oh, I mean, of course, you didn’t want to marry me. That’s ridiculous. I was only joking. Ha! Thanks for Mother 3!

Finally, there is that thing he told me not to ever open. Of course, I opened it. I opened it first actually:

Finally! I can eat “Canadian M&Ms” and see if they leave up to the hype. Without question, they have to be better than the compressed bone chalk, artificial colors, and flavoring that are “American Smarties.”

I need only devise an experiment wherein these and M&Ms can be blindly eaten and compared without National pride getting in the way.

Well, that’s it! Now get out of here! Thank you to Jbear for all the fantastic holiday gifts! I somehow avoided diabetes and heart disease! Better luck next time!

Author: Jonathon

Doesn’t mix well with polite company; his two favorite topics being politics and religion. Would rather be out cycling, swimming, running, or camping. Misspent his youth reading genre-fiction; today, he is making up for it by reading large quantities of non-fiction literature. The fact that truth, in every way, is more fascinating than fiction still tickles him.

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