I started this project seven years ago, all the way back in 2012. Since then, I’ve managed to do 53 pages of the book. About one-fifth.
Needless to say a lot has changed in seven years. My life is completely different. I think the only constant from then to now is this blog? Though, it’s gone through at least three iterations since then.
The point I’m avoiding making is that I don’t feel the same energy and excitement about this program as I did when I started it. If I am being honest with myself – it feels a lot like work. I don’t want my creative projects to feel like work. I don’t want to invest my free time into something that only makes me feel bad. Bad about not doing it and bad when I am doing it.
That isn’t an outlet for creativity but a crucible for generating resentment and disappointment. For now, I think it is best that I put this book back on the shelf until I feel like coming back to it with new eyes and new vigor.
I’ve got one more of these that is already done, I’ve been sitting on it since July, that will go up next week. Then it’s time for a rest and to pursue some things that I am looking forward to.